A Woman's Heart
by Lilith-dono
Summary: Food is running scarce, and Sesshomaru must leave his family to retrieve supplies. Alternate Universe, one shot.


DISCLAIMER: I own no characters. Copyright goes to the genius Rumiko Takahashi.

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The room was pitch black. Planks and piles of wood were nailed shut to the windows while a plank of wood enforced by metal rods barricaded the door.

"Sesshomaru?" a woman asked softly.

"Hmm?" he replied.

"I'm frightened," she whispered. He glanced over at her for a split second before turning his eyes to the protected window.

"I know, Kagome," he told her, just as soft. "Is Rin awake?"

"She's asleep," she observed. Sesshomaru looked away from his wife and child to the despondent radio on his side. He had lost battery moments ago, and was trying to find a new pair in his coat pocket.

"Is it dead?" she asked fearfully.

"I have spares," he assured. She fumbled in the dark by her side, assisting him in her search.

"Here," she offered. "I found two in the corner by Rin."

He nodded at her and took the two small sources of power in his hand. They were vital for their survival.

Kagome watched as best she could through the dark at her husband. He carefully caressed the dial to pick up a very static-like station. When a wavering voice could be heard, she placed a shaky hand over her husband's. He looked at her briefly before turning back to the radio.

"…_tHe main CaPiTAL hAS BeEN RUsheD bY PREVAiling TROOps…Every ONE hAS BeeN EXterminATED…HeaD OFFICial MOROto HaS BeEn OverCoME…"_

Kagome gasped in her despair. Sesshomaru's grip on his wife's hand tightened.

"_STReeTS ReMAin UnsaFE. DO not Go oUT UnLeSS NeCESSary. AmeRICan REINforceMents WiLl HoPEfully ARRiVe."_

He turned the knob quickly and the static voice of the anchorwoman abruptly ended. An uneasy silence filled their sheltered shack as the recent information mulled over their heads.

"Damn," Sesshomaru gritted, pounding an angry fist into the floor. Kagome gripped his hand tightly as their daughter shifted in her lap.

"Darling," she whispered tearfully, "please…please don't go out."

"Our food supply is nearly diminished. Our daughter is half-starved. What else can I do, Kagome?"

"Don't go," she pleaded, "I'd rather starve than face the life as a widow. Please, my love, don't leave!"

"Our last hopes have evaporated," he continued, his voice strained. "The Americans aren't coming. They won't help us in time."

"We still have a slim chance of hope," she sobbed, clutching onto his arm. "Please, Sesshomaru, don't go! Don't leave us!"

He wiped away her tears one by one before placing a chaste kiss on her lips. A stirring on her legs and the shuffling of fabric had more tears fall down her face.

"Mama?" a small voice asked. "Papa?" She paused. "Why is Mama crying?"

"Oh, Rin," he whispered, voice choked. "Papa has to go out for a little while, okay?"

"Why does Papa have to go? It's scary outside," she said sleepily.

"Don't worry, my pet," he whispered, kissing her forehead. "Remember Papa loves you."

"Rin loves Papa too," she said happily, giving him a hug. Kagome's shoulders shook in silent sobs as her husband gripped his daughter to him.

"Kagome," he whispered, letting go of little Rin. He embraced her next through the dark and pressed his nose into her neck. He memorized every curve of her embrace, her soft skin, and her gentle, relaxing smell.

They broke their embrace with shaking limbs, His forehead rest of hers, and through the dark he could see her teary blue eyes. He placed a shaky thumb over her quivering lips as she clutched his other hand to her breast.

"Smile for me, Kagome," he asked softly. "Sm-smile for me. Please?"

His request made her heart lurch in her chest at his hidden message. He wasn't coming back and if he did come back it wouldn't be in one piece.

She attempted to smile as best she could, but the trembling of her lips made it a very hard task to accomplish. He smiled at it though and placed a sweet kiss on her lips.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," she choked. "I love you so much."

"Good," he replied as he stood up from their small haven, tears trickling down his mortal cheeks. "Be good for your mother, Rin."

His footsteps left a lasting impression on Kagome's frantic heart as Rin huddled closer to her in attempts for comfort. Childish questions passed through Kagome's body as her frame wracked with despair.

"What's wrong with Mama?" the little girl asked, stroking her hair as Kagome often did during her night terrors. "Papa will be right back."

Papa will be right back.

Papa will be right back.

Papa will be _right back_.

"Y-Yes," she whispered hazily to her daughter, her flesh trembling. "Papa will be right back. All we have to do is wait. Come lay with me, sweetheart."

Her daughter's words repeated in her head like a mantra as little hands wrapped around her body. Hugging the little girl close to her, Kagome closed her eyes.

Papa will be right back.

Papa will be right back.

Papa will be right back.

She painted the words in her mind in attempts to believe them, but she found herself straying from their meaning. The _will be_ had conveniently turned into an _isn't coming_.

Papa isn't coming back.

Papa isn't coming back.

Papa isn't coming back.

But her mental state couldn't handle an _isn't coming_. So she began repeating the words aloud in hopes they would hold luck and truth.

"Papa is coming back," she whispered as the little girl's breathing steadied. "Papa is coming back. Papa is combing back. Papa is coming back. Papa isn't coming back."

With those words on her lips, she fell into a dreamless sleep.

A loud thump from the outside awakened Kagome from her numbing slumber. Assuming it was her husband come home, she carefully tucked Rin in their soft blanket. She maneuvered herself around the crowded living space and opened the hidden exit.

"Sesshomaru!" she exclaimed, relieved when she saw his face. He smiled at her, but closed his eyes in immense pain.

"Hurry," he whispered, "take this pack and put it in the cache. Then I need the medical kit. Bring it in the next room."

"Medical kit?" she asked worriedly.

"Yes," he replied, hissing in pain. "Do not alert Rin. I do not want her to see me like this."

He hobbled in and stumbled into the next room. Kagome quickly placed the food in a safe place before accessing a large medical kit (thanks to her paranoid motherly heart). She hauled it into the next room, and stopped as she saw the large puddles of ruby blood.

"You're bleeding," she whispered, glancing up to her wounded husband. "Turn on the soft light. I need to see what is wrong with you."

"You will scream," he replied. "I have lost much blood. Do you have towels?"

"Yes," she assured, "right here. Sesshomaru, I need to see your wounds. I was a nurse, remember?"

"A nurse who had never seen a loved one wounded as I am," he strained.

"Turn it on," she demanded fiercely, "right this instant!"

A soft light emanated from the room and Kagome was allowed to see the exact state in which her husband had gotten himself. His white shirt on the left arm was desolated beyond repair. A sheen of red goo layered the appendage, and parts of the limb were swelling purple and black.

"You were shot," she observed shakily.

"Yes," he agreed softly. She was rooted to the ground, staring at the wound that might be his death. She clutched her heart through the fabric of her shirt to feel it beating rapidly. Sesshomaru might die, and she couldn't even move to take care of him…

"Hurry, woman!" he snapped. She shook her head away from despairing thoughts and locked the door to the conjoining room. She would be damned if she would let her husband die, and his condition didn't need to be seen by their young, innocent daughter.

"How long has it been like this?"

"Five hours at most," he grit. "The first shot wasn't bad, but it was the second that got me. I lost Naraku's minion miles away from here. I made sure I was not followed."

Kagome held a steady mind as she observed his infecting wound.

"S-Sesshomaru," she whispered with trembling lips, her mind coming to a conclusion, "this is bad…you allowed it to get infected..."

"How bad?" he asked, gritting his teeth as her soft fingertip brushed the outside of his wound.

"It has to be amputated," she winced.

"Amputated?" he asked, his eyes hard. She nodded fearfully at his reaction.

"If the infection spreads even more, darling, it will be your life," she murmured. They were silent for a moment before his good hand was placed on her shoulder.

"There is a saw in the spare tool kit in the cache," he directed her firmly, "I want you to get it and sterilize it to your best ability."

"Sesshomaru, I don't have any medication!" she gasped.

"That is no matter," he said, his voice strict. "Get it and do as I say. I would rather lose an arm than lose my family."

She nodded her affirmation, and clenched her teeth as she unlocked the door to find the cache. On her knees, she opened the underground safe and pulled out the red toolbox. It took a minute of fumbling, but she found the metal weapon they desired. She stared at it for a moment and cringed that it would be the one, at her hand, that would take her husband's arm.

Kagome spent no more time dwelling and took the saw into the next room. He watched it apprehensively before looking into her eyes.

"Will you be able to do it?" he asked. Her arm shook a little as she shifted through her aid kit.

"Take these two pills. They will help soften the pain, but you will feel the majority. Don't swallow—chew," she instructed.

He leaned against the wall and rest his silver head on the rotting wood.

"You are a strong woman," he told her, smiling faintly, "that is why I married you."

"Don't make me cry. The salt in my tears will sting your flesh," she chided.

"Will I bleed to death?" he asked, voice wavered, "if I go through with this?"

"There is a slight chance," she replied, recalling her past experiences, "but if we apply enough pressure and get you bandaged properly, you will evade death. This time, at least. Give me your belt."

She dipped the saw into her liquid formation and glanced at him with haunted blue eyes. His golden orbs seemed just as distraught at the impending event that would take place. Carefully, he removed the belt around his pants as best he could without stirring pain.

Once she concluded the sterilization complete, she walked over to him slowly with the saw in her hands. She kneeled down by him, readying her equipment. The belt was wrapped as tightly as it could around his arm, and she winced at his sharp intake of breath.

"Do you want anything in your mouth to help the pain?" she asked softly.

"No; just get it over with."

The teeth rested at the top of his shoulder, enough away from the wound. They prickled against his skin and he braced himself for the pain that would come.

"I want you to remember our wedding, Sesshomaru," she whispered soothingly with small tears in her eyes, "I want you to remember the beauty of it. The time where we had no worries. Your Father attended just before he died. Remember?"

She was hesitant to make the cut.

"Do it while you tell me about your dress," he whispered, closing his eyes.

"It was a beautiful white dress," she said, adding pressure. He grunted in pain as the flesh divided. "I had my hair done up in curls and I had your favorite shade of lipstick on." He let out a strained grunt. "The dress had an empire waist and glorious white train. I wore a veil too. Remember?" The grunt turned into a scream of agony. "I approached you at the alter," she cried, her words growing louder as his cries became more frequent. "You told me I was beautiful and I cried. You wiped away my tears and assured me I would always be loved and cherished by you."

"Tell me," he gritted, "about the dress!"

"It was especially embroidered by my mother," she sobbed, striking the broken bone, and he screamed. She heard vague pounding on the door by her daughter, but she continued. "It was that bright white, the one you loved. I had flowers in my hair, and flowers were weaved into the cloth just for that day. Parts of it were made of silk. You liked the feeling of it beneath your hands." Tears fell down his cheeks as he clenched his teeth. "My bouquet was full of beautiful blue roses." She winced at his next pained scream. "We had to write our own vows. Do you remember them?" Almost done now. "I love you body and soul, Sesshomaru Taisho. You had stood through me through good times and bad. I know you will forever protect and cherish me like a woman should be cherished. You had me right at "Hello"."

The limb fell clean off and she rushed to bandage him properly. His chest was heaving with strain, and a thin layer of sweat rest on his brow. Kagome held towels against the stub to attempt to stop some of the gushing blood from the belted stump. Slowly the wound was cleansed and bandaged.

"I'm surprised you didn't faint," she whispered, helping him attempt to stand. He leaned against his little wife, and with surprising strength Kagome led him to the next room where the mattress was. Rin had burst into tears, and when she saw her wounded father, she began crying anew until Kagome demanded she ceased. She carefully lowered her husband onto the mattress. Giving the few blankets they had to him (save one for their daughter), he knew he would begin feeling the affects. She hoped the dose of sleeping medication would kick in quick.

"You know," he whispered, smiling faintly, "that was a marvelous dress."

She pressed her lips softly against his and nodded.

"I wore that marvelous dress for a marvelous man," she whispered. "Now sleep." His eyes slid shut, and he easily gave into sleep.

"Rin, don't touch me," Kagome instructed as Rin attempted clinging to her legs. Her clothes were drenched in his blood, and she knew they would have to be burned.

"Lay down in your blanket, sweetheart, and watch over Papa. If he hurts anywhere call me, but do not come get me. Understand?" she asked. The little girl nodded. "Good girl. Watch Papa."

Kagome walked back into what used to be their kitchen and stared at the blood-splattered wall. Her eyes roamed downwards where she met the sight of the red-stained saw and the permeated towels.

Her heart began to beat rapidly as it did before, and this time she did little to stop it. One glance at the limb that she so lovingly used to hold sent her stomach forward, and she emitted the contents on the crimson-stained floor.

Kagome slowly wiped her fingers against her chin and set about to get to work. After getting a few buckets of water and some spare soap, she laid her eyes back upon the bloody scene. She lowered to her knees at that time and clasped her hands together in prayer.

"Never let Rin go through the pain as I have tonight, God," she pleaded. "I beg of you. Whatever deity is up there, God, Buddha, Vishnu, or whoever else, _please_, _please, __**please **_let this war end as soon as possible. Amen."

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Completely depressing, right? I thought a deviation from my normal fluffy crap would be a good opener for someone who hasn't updated in months. I apologize for that, by-the-by. I've been losing some momentum lately, but hopefully this recovers some things.

If anyone is confused, write review. I can explain it to you personally.

I don't believe I have ever amputated an arm or a leg before, so if any details are wrong, inform me immediately. I thought this would be another way to explain how Sesshomaru lost another arm. It's his left arm he loses, right? Or is it his right? Grahh...

Spelling error reviews are greatly appreciated by me. This was written as a "spur of the moment" type of thing in the past hour.

Kudos to you who review! Boo to those who don't!

Lilith-dono


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